Monday, March 4, 2013

Got Girlfriends? 5 great reasons why you should!

Some of my "girlfriends"- The Inklings Critique Group
March is National Women's History Month
http://womenshistorymonth.gov/about.html. Lets celebrate by focusing on women's issues all month long. In my opinion you can't address women's issues without talking about female friendship.  In addition to the fun and shared interests there are many health benefits to building strong relationship bonds with other women.

 In a lab at UCLA two female researchers were commenting on how when their male counterparts where stressed they would typically isolate to work out a problem.  In contrast, these researchers found themselves cleaning up the lab, making coffee, and talking to one another about the problem to find a solution.  Sound familiar? This keen observation led Drs. Klein and Taylor to evaluate the research on stress and sure enough the research subjects were typically male.  A new research line was born to examine the unique stress responses of women.  In addition to the traditional "fight or flight" responses of men, women also demonstrated a "tend and befriend" response.  When we women are under stress we have a biologically driven instinct to take care of our children and seek out the support of other women.  (And clean the house- or is that just me?)

Female friendship also has proven health benefits:
  1. Lowered blood pressure and cholesterol.
  2. Longer life span.
  3. Improved adjustment from the death of a spouse.
  4. Increased psychological well being.
  5. Improved relaxation response through the release of oxytocin, a strong neurochemical associated with maternal bonding.
This past fall my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Trying to balance the additional responsibility of attending to my dad and helping my mother left me little time to "tend and befriend."  I am forever grateful that friends provided constant support and encouragement through texts, voicemails, and cards.  It was a sacred journey that strengthened the bonds of our friendship. 

The research collected in this post will hopefully encourage us all to resist the urge to reduce our contact with friends when times get challenging.

Leave a comment to further the discussion of the benefits of girlfriends.

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10 comments:

  1. It's trust and knowing I'll be accepted for who I am that I treasure most about my best friends. And the laughter -- that's the icing on the cake!

    Great post to celebrate the month, Lisa!

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    1. Trust and acceptance among friends is key for me too. I also like icing on my cake! So many benefits of laughter in our lives.

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  2. I love the idea of "tend and befriend" -- I am so thankful for the health benefits of having wonderful friends!

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    1. These were new terms for me too when I was doing the research for this post- They resonate for me in my stress experiences.

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  3. "Tend and befriend" is that a Lisa Marotta original? LOVE it. By the way, there is research about women struggling with infertility and how they are more successful once they seek out some sort of support--rather than keeping the "secret" to themselves.

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    1. Great to know Brandi- thanks! Tend and befriend is NOT a Marotta original it was coined by the brilliant female researchers- however, the fact that it rhymes adds to its appeal for me :)

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  4. I think I got some of the male genes here - I tend to isolate and my house sure doesn't get cleaner when I'm struggling with challenging issues. Thanks for the reminder that reaching out is the healthier alternative.

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  5. Awww, Lisa, so thrilled that you chose a picture of the Inklings to represent your "girlfriends." And glad to know I'm getting all those health benefits when I hang out with my friends. All this time I thought I was just having fun!

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  6. Many of the books I've read in the past few years deal with the bonding of women amid emotional turmoil, as well as laughter. Here's a few titles: THE HELP, THE RED TENT, DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA YA SISTERHOOD, ANGRY HOUSEWIVES EATING BON BONS, and THE SECRET LIVES OF BEES. If you've not read them already, try one and see how much better you feel.

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  7. Oh My Gosh- Thanks Martha! These are marvelous book selections to celebrate friendship- Terrific recommendations!

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