Big Rock Resolutions

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At the beginning of the month I shared with you my big goals for 2015.  In the interest of accountability--and the hope that my changes might in some way encourage change for you-- here is my update on "putting first things first" with my resolutions:

1.  Establish a Writing Routine. According to my calendar (where I entered my start/stop times) I have logged 38 hours of writing time this month. Without question, this is an increase!  Directing my attention and intention towards this goal is making an impact.  

 2.  Renew Relationships.  This is a more subjective report. My time with family and friends is always worthwhile.  I have traveled, coffeed, lunched, stayed up late, and hosted a jewelry party all in the name of renewing relationships.  I plan to continue to deepen these connections through real "face time" on an ongoing basis.

3.  Focus on Health. Oh dear, what was I thinking? My health journey has taken me through blood work, the yearly mammogram, new fitness classes, and is leading me to a nutritionist in February.  Some of the changes in this category are going to hurt--but I am told it "is a good hurt." A definite adventure for 2015.

I found a video of Stephen Covey's wisdom on "The Big Rocks"-- a demonstration of the habit of putting first things first.  Hope you like it!

Wishing you much success in YOUR big rock resolutions!

Putting "First Things First"

 Glass Vases from Breast Imaging of Oklahoma.
Over 50? Plan a yearly mammogram

We are halfway through January- How are you doing with those resolutions?  If you are like most people, you have lost some momentum.  Don’t get discouraged- there are bound to be hit or miss moments along the way to making lasting change.

It will help for us to look at our habits: The good, the bad, and the ugly- procrastination.

                                     

New habits take thought, practice, and time. Dr. Stephen Covey (1932-2012) was a habit expert.  His book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People has over 15 million copies in print.  I have two of those copies, one fell apart from being re-read so much. Covey's work is my favorite go-to-guide in the area of time/life management.

                                               

Our most popular resolutions focus on habit changes in health (lose weight, exercise more), relationships (socialize, keep in touch), or work ( job changes/improvements, education, recreation).  Each big goal is really a series of small habits.  Goal planning is important but not urgent.  There are many things that can distract us from our goals- some are important, others are . . . just distracting.

Covey directs our attention to the important (but not urgent) goals with the good habit  of “Putting first things first.” We must intentionally plan for success.Without a plan we will bounce from other people's deadlines and crisis to soothing but brain numbing activities.

Do you want a crisis oriented life in 2015? If not, planning will help you get the balanced (healthy you, healthy relationships, meaningful work)  life you want.

Take time for a well-being Check Up:

•        Are you satisfied with your 2015 goals? 
•     Set aside a brain break to write/revise your goals to identify the small habits that will lead to     big change.
•     What new habits can you schedule into your day/week?
•     How will you be accountable? (calender, friend, reminders)
•     What bad habits are holding you back? 
•     What would your week of good habits look like?
•     Are you ready to put “first things first?”

The good habits of planning your time and tracking your progress will make 2015 different than 2014. 

The 3 Rs of Successful Resolutions

So much of life is about adapting to change. Over your life time-ready or not-you will face educational, occupational, family, and medical changes.  The tradition of setting resolutions at New Years is about creating change on your own terms.  Maybe you have set goals in the past (right before midnight) only to face regret by January 3rd.  There is actually a formula for resolutions, lets look at the 3 Rs of making and KEEPING resolutions.

Review: Take some time to consider the "big ticket" areas of your life-social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, creative, physical.  Consider first what is working.
Some questions to get you started:

• Are you pleased with your relationships?  
• Are you feeling mostly happy/satisfied/calm? Is your worship life meaningful to you?
•  Do you feel challenged intellectually and/or creatively? Are you taking good care of your physical self? 

Now zero in on what is not working.  Here is where you get critical and examine bad habits.

• Are you an attentive friend?
•  Have you been stressed out and taking poor care of yourself and your relationships?
•  Is your spiritual connection dry or mechanical?
•  Are you zoning out on mindless techno games instead of plugging into real life or reading something that moves you? 
•  Emotional eating anyone?  

This review can take a short time, or several days, don't rush it.  You are mining your lifestyle for meaningful change.I did my review last month and decided to focus on friendships this year. I have so much gratitude for the relationships in my life and I want to connect more intentionally. This will be our example for the other Rs (feel free to borrow the resolution if it works for you!). If your review leads you in a different direction just plug your goal and action items into the formula.

Record: Write notes to yourself from the review and identify one or two areas that you want to change.  Record the wish as a positive resolution- "In 2014 I will connect more with friends." Instead of a negative stinking thinking resolution- "This year I will stop being a flaky friend." Now break it down into action items.  "I will make lunch dates or Starbucks coffee breaks with friends." Make the frequency reasonable like twice a month if you have been sporadic in the past. Write down the friends that you want to invite to lunch or coffee.  Look at your calendar and identify days that are best for you.  Call, email, or text each friend to schedule connection time.  Now that it is on the calendar we get the bonus of anticipation which increases our odds of following through. When the dates approach remind yourself of why you did this so your time is intentional and rewarding.

Repeat: Continue to schedule (and follow through with) your changed behavior on a regular basis. It takes 90 days to establish a habit.  In pursuing this resolution we are trying to change not only behavior, but more importantly our mindset about making time for these relationships.  At the end of 3 mos (90 days), go back to the notes you made during the review phase. Evaluate-- is this small step getting you closer to what you were envisioning?  Would a different small change be better? For example, it might be more meaningful to find an evening time to meet with one of the friends whose available time is different, create a monthly get together with friends like a book or dinner club, maybe arrange a group adventure with some friends who share a common interest. It is not cheating or breaking your resolution to tweak the action items along the way. The important thing is you are moving closer to your true longings- improving the life journey this year!

Bad habits can be difficult to tackle as a resolution because there are so many layers to the problem of a long standing self defeating pattern.  This year I recommend that you begin practicing the 3Rs by starting a new healthy habit- healthy for your social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, creative, physical lifestyle.  Let your success in this area bring some momentum to addressing areas where you sabotage your precious self.

If your review leads you to thoughts of enhancing your marital relationship-Shel Harrington (one of my friends)  has created a post on resolutions for couples- great ideas for action items!

Anyone want to share their resolutions for 2014? I welcome your comments.