Mindfulness Monday: How does your friendship grow?

My friend Mari celebrating friendship at OWFI

Take some time to reflect on your closest relationships. Does your calendar reflect your internal commitment to meaningful friendships?

It takes full engagement to grow adult friendships-there are no good short cuts to emotional intimacy.

Responsibilities can distract us from connecting on a more personal level with special people.  Facebook catches us up through photos and witty anecdotes but nothing beats good old fashion face time with real friends.

This week focus on friends.

I WILL MAKE TIME TO CONNECT DEEPLY IN MY FRIENDSHIPS.

Grab your Shiny New Calendars and Let's Plan!

Image from www.billiescraftroom.wordpress.com

Researchers have studied parent child communication to evaluate the quality and quantity of dialogue in families.  The results might startle you.  Once we remove the "Brush your teeth" directional speech and "Please look at me when I am talking" correctional language, our American families are clocking in at less than 8 minutes a day of meaningful conversation.

Here is what is taking up our family time:

1. Structured Activities/Sports
2. Homework/Studying
3. Internet/Cell Phone
4.Television

You could make an argument that all of these things have varying degrees of importance to your family.  You do not necessarily have to eliminate any of the time consuming activities to create time, but you will probably have to develop some limits on activities that are competing with meaningful connection as a family. 

How are parents beating the national average? Intentional planning!

Some ideas for scheduled family time are:

1. A certain number of at home family dinners per week.
2. Stay up late night for each child for undivided parent time.
3. Taking your child out to lunch (or dining in the school cafeteria).
4. Family outings on the weekend.
5. Volunteering together.
6. Special projects (Organizing the play room?)
 
Don't feel guilty - chances are you are already doing some planned family time, but I bet you can improve on family time this year. I like to start off my new year with a shiny blank calendar.  The little boxes are fresh with possibilities. 

What's your story for 2013? How will you spend your time? Will those empty dates get filled with meaningful commitments?  The choice is up to you.

Please share your 2013 thoughts about family time.

Take a (spring) break and make memories

Staying home for Spring Break doesn’t have to be a bummer. The stories that children tell me about their mini vacation from school rarely have to do with where they’ve spent their time- it is all about how they’ve spent their time. Busy schedules, working parents, and homework make all ages hungry for a little down time.  With some planning and an eye for fun, you can create magic without Disney.

1.       Pajama Day.  Just like it sounds.  Stay in pajamas all day without having to be sick.

2.       Read—a –thon, Movie—a –thon, Videogame—a –thon.  Any repeatable fun activity.

3.       Day Trips. Pack a lunch and jump in the minivan and go.  To the park, zoo, museum, . . .

4.       Indoor Camp out.  Set up a tent in the living room, grill dinner and s’mores on the BBQ, and add friends and maybe some flash lights.

5.       Make something, bake something, and try something new.  The point is for everyone to be a beginner together.

Ordinary activities can be elevated to extraordinary when you add creativity to the extra time of Spring Break.   What about cleaning the house with loud music (oldies or musicals)?  How about homework in the backyard or in the park?  Taking the dog for a walk in a different neighborhood? 

So what if you have some ideas for fun quality time with your children and one or all of them misbehave?  Teach them a valuable lesson in forgiveness and mercy.  Being grounded for Spring Break is miserable for everyone.  Save the longer consequences for the rest of the semester!

When I asked my young adult daughters what they remember from previous spring breaks, they reminded me of our “tradition” of shopping for new flip flops. The idea of kicking off our boots with visions of bare feet in our future was a celebration.  Now that they are older I am thinking of throwing in a pedicure.

·         How will you make memories this Spring Break?

·         What are some highlights from past school vacations?