Feelings Friday: Goodbyes are always hard

Suki (Lynn) Marotta
2004 - 2015

Suki Marotta passed away quietly of natural causes early Sunday morning.

She was a beloved family member, pet, friend, therapy dog, and "mindfulness muse."

Suki wagged her tail into our life in 2006 as a rescue dog. She completed her Therapy Dog International training in 2008.  Suki worked Wednesdays in my office soothing sadness and calming the nerves of clients and staff alike. Her TDI outreach included comforting grieving children at Trinity School, and easing the stress of midterms and finals with the Alpha Chi girls at the University of Oklahoma.  Suki was a frequent guest on this blog as a reminder to "live moment to moment" in mindfulness.

Suki  loved belly rubs, nature walks, raw carrots,  and attention.  She was vocal in her dislike of owls, power tools, and vacuums.

She was energetic and playful throughout her life. Suki was always happy to see you.

She spent a wonderful last day on earth walking, playing, and being loved on by family and friends at the lake. Suki will be remembered for her compassion, loving companionship, and joyful spirit.

Therapy Dog International says "A dog will love you forever." We will love Suki forever.

I have enabled comments for this post if you wish to share a memory about Suki or a thought about grieving a pet.  Many thanks always for reading and following.

COMFORT: Manage yourself so you can manage the crisis

Suki in her TDI  work outfit OU 2014

This month is dedicated to creative and resourceful coping strategies for all ages. I have noticed over the years that many people (self included) go into overdrive when life gets intense.  In a futile attempt to fake normalcy during crisis we push to get everything to look just like it always does, except there is this pesky crisis thing. We delude ourselves into thinking that we “don’t have enough time” to take care of ourselves in desperate times. If this sounds familiar and you are wondering how to fit it all in, consider this:

YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIT IT ALL IN- YOU WILL HAVE TO LET SOME THINGS GO.  

Manage yourself so you can manage the crisis. A new normal will come and you will get to the other stuff later.

Let go of the ordinary “to do” list when you are faced with a life storm.  Make simple meals. Eat healthy-ish take out.  Forget the laundry. Do the minimum in each of the automatic but wonderful ways that you maintain your life so you can take time to restore your emotional and physical self. Consider breaks to exercise, meditate, pray, talk to a friend, rest, and if you are lucky enough to have a pet - grab some floor time with your quiet confidante.

.

Therapy Dog Tales

Last week Suki and I took a drive down to Norman, OK to visit the Alpha Chi Omega sorority house.  The tense quiet was a clear sign that we arrived just in time to kick off the beginning of finals week.  Within moments the entry was filled with girls in bare feet squealing to get Suki’s undivided “puppy love.”  Suki gave them all some one on one time and listened while they shared stories of pets at home, complained about late night studies, and wished aloud that Suki could come back every day. 

The Alpha Chi sisters recognized their need to take a break and receive comfort and support.  Before long laughter, joking around, and lots of smiling replaced the eerie stillness. The break time offered an opportunity to recharge.  There will still be time to finish research papers and cram for the killer physics exam. We were only there for an hour but we left the sorority house a much happier place than when we arrived.

A Dog Will Love You Forever

Some of my clients purposefully schedule their appointments for Wednesday afternoon so they can work with my furry co-therapist, Suki.  I completely understand.  Suki Marotta is a natural.  I have watched her calmly assist a dog phobic child, moan with a stressed single parent, sooth an angry teen, and lay across the legs of a grieving widow. She greets our clients with a sniff and a lick, wagging her tail in hospitality.  In addition to her unconditional love, embodies the therapeutic tool of focusing on the nonverbal message.  She is a mirror to human emotions.

Suki is a special dog, but much of that is in her training.  She attended puppy school, basic obedience, canine good citizen, and then “sat” for the Therapy Dog International (TDI) certification.  In other words, she has graduate level training. Therapy dogs are being utilized in a variety of settings; making visits to hospitals, libraries, geriatric centers, courtrooms, and disaster sites.  The most recent TDI newsletter included an article written by  a volunteer who sought out the comfort of therapy dogs during 9/11:

“I can’t remember the first time I saw one, but I remember the feeling—like being picked up and held close. It was like being recognized and then embraced by an old friend.”

“The dogs gave me a reason to get up, and when I did, they found my pain and held it for me.  I shed my first tears . . . and after I did, I felt the weight in my chest start to lift.  The dogs sat with my grief so I could sit with my clients’.” Sarah Sypniewski (AmeriCorps/American Red Cross)

Researchers struggle to prove that dogs are empathic, but ask any dog owner—they have data on a daily basis.  I was moved, but not surprised to see the story of Hawkeye the Labrador’s expression of grief during his master’s funeral.                                                 

“A dog will love you forever is the motto of TDI.”

I couldn’t agree more. What dogs have brought you comfort?