The question “what do you do?” often comes up in social
situations. My answer typically draws
some attention. Reactions are varied and
range from interest to skepticism. I
have had several people ask if I can read minds. Sometimes I wish that I could . . . but darn
it, they don’t teach us that in graduate school.
The shortest explanation of what I do as a psychologist is
that I work in partnership with my clients (young and old) to facilitate
change.
For many people change is a scary concept. We are all more or less comfortable in our
familiar routines in life and then all of a sudden something shifts- a death in
the family, a super strict teacher, a bully moves into the neighborhood, a major
medical diagnosis. When life happens in
an unexpected way we use our very best skills to cope. Sometimes those skills are outdated. Sometimes those skills push others away from
us. In many cases new skills have to be
developed.
As a psychologist I am an active listener, creative problem
solver, teacher, encourager, and support.
My role is to provide the right conditions for positive change to take
place.
“How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?”
Only one, but the light bulb has to want
to change. This is an old joke, but it
does explain a key factor about counseling.
It is not a passive process; both the psychologist and the client are
working hard in the session. I often
give “homework” to my clients to ensure that they are also working outside of
the session.
Therapy with a child often involves teaching how to
identify, express, and receive comfort from past hurts or disappointments. The
aggressive child needs to learn more socially acceptable ways to get his/her
needs recognized. The bullied child
benefits from acknowledgement and tools of assertiveness. The depressed child is looking for a
perspective of hope. The anxious child
is given an opportunity to develop skills of self-reassurance and
soothing. Life is tricky- we need lots
of tools in our toolbox to manage ourselves through change.
Throughout my twenty years in partnership with clients I continue to be inspired on a daily
basis by the transforming power of change.
It is a privilege to journey with another person through their most
challenging life moments. Every client
is different and every problem has a multitude of creative solutions that is
unknown at the beginning of treatment.
Did you notice there is no mention of blaming the parents? Despite difficult family situations my job is
to empower each child to take responsibility for their own success or failure
in coping with change. If parents are open to making changes too- Bonus!
I LOVE my job. I hope
you love yours.
Your questions and comments are always welcome.
