Mindfulness Mondays: Murmurations

Greetings from Santa Fe!  My journey has begun in this beautiful place to experience and learn more about integrated medicine.

Today we were introduced to "the new science" of consciousness. This video captures the flight of starlings called murmurations. These synchronistic patterns were used to illustrate how some communication cannot be explained through traditional scientific understanding.

Some of our communication and connection to one another may be transmitted without conscious awareness.


I will be more aware of my connection to others.

Mindfulness Mondays: Beginnings

The sculpture in this picture is one of  three consecutive installations tucked into building corners along Marcy street in Santa Fe.  The first is a perfect round shape.  The second (depicted here) shows an opening- like an egg or a seed cracking.  The final sculpture reveals another perfect round shape within the shell that has cracked open.

We are forever given the opportunity for a new beginning.  It brings me hope in my ability to change and grow.





I CAN ALWAYS BEGIN AGAIN.

Santa Fe: Eminem from Trauma to Recovery

Eminem never claimed to be a role model. His lyrics are intense, angry, and filled with profanity.  His videos are graphically sexual and violent.  Eminem’s music references addiction and crime.  Listen carefully if you can because this is the story of his life experience.  Eminem is a living example of what counselors mean when we describe “kids from hard places.”

At the Creativity and Madness Conference,*Annette Fortino, LMSW, treated us all to an in depth case study of the traumatized child Marshall Bruce Mathers who grew up to be the best-selling artist in the 2000's and named King of Hip Hop by Rolling Stone Magazine.

Background:

·         Marshall was born to two musical parents in Missouri in 1972.

·         Father left the family when he was an infant.

·         No relationship with his father while growing up.

·         Mother reportedly addicted to pills and alcohol, physically abusive

·         Multiple moves, from little towns in Missouri to Michigan approximately every 1-2 years.

·         Settled into Detroit during teen years at the time that Detroit was in rapid urban decline, with 23% unemployment and high crime.

·         Half-brother removed from the home when Eminem was 15

·         Dropped out of school at 17

Marshall was lacking in support and mentoring throughout his formative years, and had an ambivalent attachment to his mother.  His Uncle Ronnie (mother’s half-brother) was a few years older than Marshall and they were reportedly very close.  Ronnie gave Marshall a dictionary and introduced him to his first rap song.  The dictionary sparked a fascination with words. His uncle committed suicide as a young teen.

Marshall took his love of words, his natural musicality, and expressed his pain through lyrics.  He became involved in the emerging Hip Hop culture and enrolled in freestyle rap battles.  The stage name Eminem was an evolution of M&M.  Marshall’s persistence, practice, and dedication propelled him to enter contests where he ultimately became discovered by Dr. Dre.

Trauma leaves a neurological mark on a child which remains throughout the life span.  Typical behavioral symptoms include difficulty regulating emotions, aggression, impulse control problems, and negative self-image.  The body remembers.  Eminem is known for his rapid fire, complex rhyming, and lyrics that release the pain.  Recovery from trauma involves making meaning of the experience through empowerment.  Words and music continue to help Marshall save himself. Check out Cleanin Out My Closet.

Fame was not without trauma.  His mother sued him for defamation of character in a 10 million dollar lawsuit.  She was awarded damages of less than two thousand dollars.  Traveling for tours disrupted Eminem’s sleep and he began taking pills to sleep. Alcohol and pain killers followed soon afterward.

Recovery from addiction brought about other changes in Eminem.  He publicly (and privately) forgave his mother in his song Headlights, and he began raising his only daughter.  Eminem has just released a new album and is active in NA and AA in Los Angeles.  He has developed a charity (The Marshall Mathers Foundation) for disadvantaged youth.

Eminem’s recovery from trauma and addiction will be a lifelong intention to live one day at a time. His journey through the pain reminds us that creativity is transformational.  

*If there are any errors in this post please forgive me, they are unintentional and the result of poor note taking on my part and not the dynamic and intensive work of the presenter: Annette Fortino, LMSW,ACSW,CAADC,EMDR certified.  Ms. Fortino traveled from Michigan to Santa Fe with her son Joe, who performed percussion to enhance the presentation of this artist.  They received a standing ovation for this informative and inspirational study. 

Santa Fe: Pensamientos Positivos

Yachac/Shaman heals conference
attendee

• "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift"
•  
• Albert Einstein

Santa Fe: Pensamientos Positivos

Sending positive thoughts and beautiful images
 from Santa Fe, The City Different.

"I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad.  My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few."
Brene Brown

The Cookie Project: Biscochitos (Frida's Favorites)

If you are a frequent visitor of this blog you will not be surprised by my decision to dedicate a recipe to Frida Kahlo for The Cookie Project. My acquired taste and growing admiration for this artist has its roots in my love of Santa Fe, New Mexico.  On a trip down Canyon Road you will find Frida inspired artworks throughout the many galleries, and respectful tributes to her in the local shops.  This Sunday I am returning  again to Santa Fe for the Creativity and Madness Conference.  In honor of Frida I researched a cultural recipe that is usually served at traditional Mexican weddings on the dessert bar, or given as gifts to the wedding guests.  These Mexican cookies are beautiful, more fragile than they look, and very high maintenance. I like to think that Frida would approve.
 
Biscochitos (Mexican Wedding Cookies)


1 Cup Walnuts
1 Cup room temperature unsalted butter
1/2 Cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 Tablespoon vanilla extract
1 3/4 Cups flour

Powdered Sugar for rolling
Makes 2 dozen medium sized cookies

Step One
In a medium skillet toast the walnuts over medium heat, shaking often until lightly browned (this took me two tries- I had the flame too hot!) for about five minutes.  Transfer toasted walnuts into a freezer container and freeze for at least one hour (I did overnight).

Step Two
Beat the butter until creamy, add sugar and beat again.  Add salt, vanilla extract and beat again.  The cookie dough will be crumbly.

Take the frozen walnuts and crush them to small bits.  I put my walnuts into a baggie then used the flat side of a large knife to repeatedly "wack them" (highly technical baking term).  Some recipes suggested a food processor to "grind" them- you get the gist I hope.

Stir the ground walnuts into your cookie dough and refrigerate for one hour.

Step Three

Preheat oven to 325 degrees

Form the dough into little balls (about tablespoon size) and place one inch apart on a parchment lined cookie sheet.

Bake for 12 minutes.

Step Four

Sprinkle powdered sugar on a clean room temperature cookie sheet.  When the cookies are still warm (about 3 minutes) roll them CAREFULLY in the powdered sugar and set aside.

When the cookies are completely cooled- roll them again in the powdered sugar.

Step Five

Eat them- you've worked hard for this nutty, sweet, crumbly treat!

Creativity and Madness

Next week I will be sojourning to Santa Fe, New Mexico with some of my favorite colleagues.  The Creativity and Madness conference has replaced my "have to" continuing education in various cold hotel meeting rooms with typically boring lecturers to an "I can't believe I get to go" experiential week long workshop.  It is now a tradition that the first week of August means a full syllabus of intense learning, great food, beautiful art, and deep personal reflection. 

The amazing learning core of the conference focuses on the coexistence of creative genius and mental illness. We have studied writers, musicians, visual artists, and performing artists.  Professional speakers have presented fascinating perspectives on anxiety, depression, suicide, and recovery. Each workshop day is filled with the promise of profound mind expanding study.  Some of our biographical lectures have highlighted Janis Joplin, Woody Allen, Sylvia Plath, and Mozart.(Wouldn't that be an interesting dinner party?)  It saddens me to think we will soon be examining the life, death, and addiction of Amy Winehouse.

Part of the Santa Fe week involves serious eating.  My travel companions are connoisseurs of authentic Mexican cuisine as well as fine cooking.The Shed, Tomasitas, and The Pink Adobe satisfy our cravings for spicy delicious.  When we want to go fancy we trek to Canyon Road to taste the specialty gourmet of The Compound and Geronimos.  I strive to wake up early enough to get a hearty breakfast at Pasquals at least once every trip.  For a delicious perk of caffine with definite dessert twist, the cafe l'egouis at the french bakery inside of La Fonda makes Starbucks pale in comparison. 

Artists abound in this city that celebrates artistry.  Downtown boasts more galleries than grocers.  It is a visual feast to walk in and out of museum quality artist shops.  It stimulates my creativity in a new way, delivering an almost electric charge to produce something.  Last summer I wrote a poem, edited a manuscript, and aimed my camera lense from a different point of view. 

The Creativity and Madness conference has challenged me to experiment with a range of sensory experiences that I can use to recharge my professional and personal life.  Here are some of my "firsts" from Santa Fe adventures: green chili, spa, energy healing, opera, elk (yum), and Whole Foods.  Each is a blog in and of itself.  I have talked with artists, professors, healers, and musicians. It is life changing.

You can spot the newcomers to the conference--psychologists, counselors, nurses, and physicians arrive on Monday in professional garb.  By Friday theyare transformed by the information, food, and culture of Santa Fe. Scads of health professionals return to work from New York to California adorned in torquoise and broom skirts. I'm already packing mine from previous trips.

It is an expensive trip.  Every year I return with new eyes, renewed energy, validated commitment to my clients, solid practical and interesting information, and of course a silver bangle or two--Priceless.