Mindfulness Moments: Awaken to Beauty

I can awaken to the beauty that is all around me.

Gratitude Adjustment

I am grateful for signs of Spring

Mindfulness Moments: All beginnings have a rich history

In nature winter is the season of change below the surface. The blog and I have been in deep hibernation and are ready to celebrate new growth.

Today it is with great joy that I present to you a harbinger of Spring- The Marotta puppy!

Introducing Sirius "Dude" Marotta

Sirius (AKA The Dog Star) is  a constellation of stars representing Orion's loyal dog companion.  You can find Sirius at night by tracing the line of Orion's Belt and it will lead you to the brightest star.  We call him Dude, because he is from Denver and he likes smooth jazz and just because . . .

A wonderful dog trainer/ blogger once described a new dog as a portal for the spirits of your previous pets to sit with you again. An interesting perspective about how change always includes a layering of experience for each of us. We miss and yet connect with Suki as we cuddle with little Dude.

Drawing from 5 years of blogging, workshops, and blog networking I have developed a clarity of vision for the blog. A relaunch is in the planning stages and I promise to  keep you "posted."           

All beginnings have a rich history 

Mindfulness Mondays: Clear the Clutter

My home quickly accumulates paper, books, photos, and unfinished projects. On any given day my brain swirls with to do lists, frustrations, happy thoughts, and random ideas.

Somewhere in all of the STUFF (mind and closets) there are sparks of joy. Would you like to join me in cleaning the clutter?

I am honored to be the keynote for this year's Sisters In Spirit conference: A Year of Peaceful Intentions on Saturday, February 6. We will start with mindfulness in the morning and take a mid-day break with the magic of tidying up. In between there will be great sisterhood with women of all ages and break out sessions to help you grow and learn.Call (405) 366-7616 for more information.

I can calm my mind, clean my space, and find joy this week.

Mindfulness Mondays: Pause to Reflect

We are entering the third week in January and it is time to reflect on 2016 intentions.

My overall intention is to be "PRESENT" this year. Whether I am having coffee with a friend or doing research on my computer- I want to be focused on that moment.

Take some time this week to check in with yourself. Are your intentions being supported by actions?

P.S. Make gentle corrections if you are off track.

Mindfulness Mondays: Be Playful

Children have a natural mindfulness. Watch how they make daily activities fun through the element of play.

 Make an intention this week to be playful. Allow yourself to be open to new ways to approach the seriousness of work and daily activities.

Thank You Elvis, Thank You Very Much

Elvis 1970

It's January 8 friends, and it's Elvis Presley's birthday.

Elvis was already "The King" when I was a kid. I was one of the billions who experienced his Aloha Tour. The connection he made with his audience was magical, reaching all the way through satellite to little 11 year old me sitting cross legged on the shag carpet in my parent's bedroom. The opening warm up still gives me goose bumps.

His records influenced my love of music, his death taught me the dangers of addiction.

Today is a special day and you may choose your own adventure but as for me- I am putting on my blue suede boots and listening to Elvis radio. How will you celebrate?

Mindfulness Mondays: Making Peace with Change

Portuguese Water Dog Puppies

"There is no beginning.    There is no end. There is  only change." ~ Robert Monroe

It is comforting to think of life as a continual process of change.  Resolutions do not have to have sharp edges of beginning (This year I will always ...) or ending (I pledge to never . . .) . We live through a series of letting go - Change always involves a form of grief.  Looking at change as a normal part of life is a peaceful and gentler way of grieving.

Last year we had to say goodbye to Suki. Her death was not the end of our relationship, it was a change. Our memories strengthen our connection to Suki and loving her has created a space for more love. This year we are preparing for a beginning- somewhere in this pile of puppies is a Marotta. *We know he will have his own spirit and his own tale (tail) to tell (wag). Soften the edges of change this week.

I can accept change with peacefulness.

*Naming and more photos will be forthcoming in February. 

Lucky New Year's Dip

Some call it superstition, I like to think of it as southern tradition- no matter how you look at "luck" it's time to mix up a bowl of black eyed peas.

This year my recipe is a combination of two Pinterest recipes- h/t to Creme De La Crumb and Spicy Southern Kitchen.  I am calling mine Lucky New Year's Dip

Lucky New Year's Dip

2 cans black eyed peas, rinsed and drained
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can dark red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 can yellow corn, drained
8 sweet bell peppers, seeded and chopped (I used the red and orange for color)
One bunch of green onions, chopped
1 can of green chilies
1/2 Cup of fresh cilantro, cut with kitchen shears
1/2 Cup of red wine vinegar
2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 cup vegetable oil

Lime optional for serving

In a large bowl mix together: Beans, corn, peppers, onions, and chilies.  Add fresh cilantro.

Prepare dressing of vinegar, sugar,black pepper, and vegetable oil in a small bowl. Pour dressing into large bowl and toss to coat mixture evenly.  Cover and place in refrigerator for several hours for best flavor.Squeeze lime wedges for added kick before serving

I plan to serve our Lucky New Year's Dip tomorrow with chips to boost our chances for the Sooner's football game.

Share some luck with neighbors too!

Wishing you a safe, lucky, and very Happy New Year! LLM

.

Mindfulness Mondays: Taste

Thankful for dessert at OKCMOA cafe 2015

Mindful eating involves many senses. On Saturday I had a delightful day at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art with my mom.As an added treat we ordered a dessert to share. It was sensational.

The carrot cake was first a "feast for the eyes." The melted caramel, nutty cake, and cream cheese icing, smelled-- AMAZING. Our mindfulness in staying on "our side"of the plate was a fun twist on the sense of touch. Then came the taste. Oh my goodness. One small bite at a time my mother and I toppled this tower of bakery deliciousness.

This Thursday will bring a bonanza of food to many of our tables.  Be present to the friends and family who gather together. Don't just eat- TASTE.


This Thanksgiving I will be mindful. I will taste, listen, love, and be present.

Veterans Day Gratitude

There are two super sized flags (from SAMS) flying from the Marotta mailbox today. Sweetness called from his business trip to make sure I remembered. We should never forget.

Take time today to honor the military. Say thank you in your own way to the men, women, and families who have sacrificed for the greater good of our freedom.

My blog thank you starts with my Dad, Don Yager. He was proud of his service in the Air Force and forever friends with Paul Erickson, and Rod Davison (Thank you X 2). Thank you to Sal's Dad Ernie Marotta, and brother Michael. My long time friend Colonel Dave Slade, and his son Daniel (Gracias). My friends Mari and Tony Farthing, thank you for your dedicated service.

My gratitude to all veterans who are struggling with PTSD symptoms- your sacrifice continues.

Last year my friend Tony Farthing delivered a heartfelt tribute to his wife Mari at the Oklahoma City Listen to Your Mother Show. Mari spent four years in active duty, but her husband wanted to say a special thank you for her service on the home front. Click on the link to remember all families who serve from home. Thank you Suzy Slade- you are "stronger than you know."

Reach out to the military in your life: Write a letter. Make a call to connect. Smile. Spend some time listening. Shout out on Facebook. Wave your flags.

Be Intentional. We should never forget to be grateful.

Monday Mindfulness: Respecting Grief

h/t Creativity and Madness Facebook

Grieving is the natural emotional expression following the loss of our loved ones. As we prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas it is important to find healthy ways to express the sadness about the empty chairs at our tables.

Dia de los Muertos is a remembrance celebration with origins in Mexico.  Family and friends gather to bake special foods and create ofrendas (memory table altars) to honor their deceased.

This week make an intention to honor your grief. Consider memory sharing, sorting through photos, prayers, charitable donations in their name, or a cemetery visit.

This week I will respect my grief.

Mindfulness Monday: Calming the Stressed Brain

  

 "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." William James

A stressed brain is flooded with thoughts that justify the negative emotion. We are triggered by something outside of ourselves and gather evidence to react. Our mind becomes flooded with internal defensiveness. Mindfulness is the process of quieting the mind so we have more awareness of our thoughts and feelings.Step back from your stressed thinking so can choose your thoughts.

This week I will choose my thoughts with a calm mind.

Stress Busting in the Transition Teen Years

Last month I had the opportunity to talk to parents of 5th through 9^th grade students about stress. The transition to middle school and high school is filled with anticipatory anxiety for students and their parents. 

Each parent participant received a handout, a rubber band, and a candy bar.

There are multiple external stressors that we can predict in the transition years: The impact of puberty, dating-driving-fitting in, and juggling multiple teachers and deadlines. With all of this going on outside, how each student perceives the changes/challenges is the measure of internal stress.

My message to parents: Lean in, listen more than you speak, and model/teach good coping skills.  All too often parents confuse removing stress with reducing stress.  Many fall into the trap of rescuing their child from external stress like the “mean teacher, or the “unfair loss” instead of seeing the opportunity to help build stress busting skills. It is easy to overlook the internal sources of stress.

The key to thriving (at any age) is learning how to manage the effects of stress.The handout was for parents to take notes or doodle if necessary.

Top External Stress for Teens: 

School and balancing their schedule

In the 2014 Stress in America survey our teenagers were reporting experiencing stress at higher rates than adults.  Despite feeling more stressed, these same respondents were unaware of the effects of chronic untreated stress and expressed poor confidence in their ability to manage their stress.  

Top stress buster of choice: 

Distraction

Of the many ways to manage stress distraction is the LEAST effective way to reduce the feelings and negative effects of stress. They may look relaxed, but avoidance is ramping up the pressure inside.  

  

The rubber band was to remind parents that stress is not all bad.  It is healthy for kids to learn how to stretch and to find their sweet spot in how much stress is "just right," students also need help in learning how to return to a resting state (recovery). 

A good stretch is learning how to access motivation, manage difficult people, speak up when your friends are mean, try something new.  Parents can help encourage good stretches, monitor when the stretch goes too far, and connect kids with healthy alternatives beyond distraction to manage stress.

Alternative Stress Busting Options:

1. Exercise: Take a walk, bring them to the gym, train for a fun run, work in the yard.
2. Nature: Go to the park, take a hike, read outside.
3. Sleep: Naps should be restricted to 20-25 minutes. Regular bedtimes and wake times encouraged. Recommendation is 8 to 10 hours each night.
4. Positive Friendships: A few "high maintenance" friends is fun, too many is adding to stress load. 
5. Hobbies: Not every sport or instrument is a source of college scholarship. Help your teen to try things for sheer enjoyment.
6. Music: How about a playlist for AP World studying? Engage with your student in discovering the connection between music and mood.

This is a sampling of the many possible stress busting activities that assist parent and teen in managing stress through the transition years.  So what is the significance of the candy bar?  I wanted parents to lighten up and recognize the sweet parts of raising their kids through the teen years.

Also I generally think that chocolate is a nice idea when talking about stress. 

If you know someone with a teen in transition that would benefit from this post, please share the link! 

Stress Busting with Oatmeal Scotchies and Project STIR

I bake when life gets stressful. My family can usually tell when I’m under more stress than usual because there are cookies in the house.  Lots of cookies.  

There is a zen to baking: quietly collecting the ingredients, the steady purr of my prized Kitchen maid mixer, and naturally the smell of comfort food. Baking melts my stressful thoughts and unwinds the knots in my shoulders. Cookie making soothes me from start to finish.

My love of baking was a legacy gift from my Grammie.  Grammie brought kindness, comfort, and cookies to many folks over the years.  I remember watching her bake in her tiny Texas kitchen and “helping” by tasting cookies fresh out of the oven to tell her if they were good (they always were).

Memories of Grammie are an essential ingredient to my stress reduction in the kitchen.

My blogger buddy Sarah Shotts is on a mission to rekindle family recipes through Project STIR. Sarah is a young person with a wise soul and a creative eye We met at the Arkansas Blogger Conference and connected through our mutual appreciation of the family/food connection.  Project STIR is a series of documentary films capturing the universal language of love in the family kitchen. The films will take place in kitchens around the world and will tell the stories of Abuelitas, Nans & Mothers passing on their heirloom recipes to the next generation. I am one of Sarah's “Project Stir Ambassadors” promoting the project through social media.  I was eager to participate because of my support of family time, comfort food, and creativity.

In my warming Oklahoma kitchen Grammie and I still connect over her hand written baking recipes even though she passed away many years ago.  My stress busting in the kitchen this week is creating Grammie’s Oatmeal Scotchies – aka “Scotchies.” My family loves this recipe because it is sweet and savory.  Perfect for a fall day. The insider giggle is that I looked all over for this recipe and delighted to find it in her spiral notebook, only later to learn that she copied it from the Nestle Toll House Butterscotch Morsels bag!

Grammie's Oatmeal Scotchies

1 Cup Flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 Cup softened butter
3/4 Cup Sugar
3/4 Cup Brown Sugar
2 Eggs
1 teaspoon Vanilla

3 Cups Quick Oats (we like Quaker)
12 oz package of Nestle Tollhouse Butterscotch morsels (!)

Preheat Oven to 375 degrees

In small bowl mix together flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon- set aside. In large bowl beat brown and white sugars, eggs, and vanilla "until fluffy." Gradually add in flour mix from small bowl.Stir in oatmeal and morsels by hand.  Drop by rounded spoonful of dough onto greased cookie sheet.Bake for 7-8 minutes. 

Yum. 

This month my blog focus is on managing stress.From process to product baking has potential for reducing stress for you with the added bonus of creating opportunities to share the love and comfort (cookies) with others.  I hope this inspires you to explore creative ways to cope with stress in your life.  For more information about Project STIR please click on the link you will be treated to a morsel of Sarah's talent for videography and I promise you will feel the love. If you share Sarah’s passion for rekindling family recipes please support her mission with a donation or by spreading the word (word of mouth, Facebook shares, etc. . . .)  

Caring is sharing- how about a cookie?  

Stress Busting with Social Support Networks

Sample Bigfoot casts for sale 2015

Social isolation is a mistake in stress management.

While it is possible to be alone without being lonely, we all need some form of connection for good health.  In the world of stress research the data is impressive.  Social support boosts our mood, improves our immunity, and decreases our cortisol levels (stress hormone). But how do we find good social support?

• Consider your interests. There is a club for EVERYTHING. Google it, you may be surprised.  There are writing groups, reading groups, conferences, conventions, symposiums, and lecture series.  Into healthy cooking? Seek out cooking classes, William & Sonoma workshops, and food blogs with interactive discussion groups. Like being helpful?  Volunteer, fund raise for a cause, or join a committee. (Just don’t do all of these things at one time because that would be TOO MUCH).

• Reach out. Phone a friend, write a letter, and invite someone to coffee (tea, lunch, or other field trip). If you are feeling isolated that is a sign that you need to initiate.  It can be intimidating to be the first to make a move, but leaving your comfort zone is the good kind of stress- waiting around will not improve your connection.  Community decreases the bad stress.

Your feelings are a good thermometer of getting on track with social support. A healthy group leaves you with the feeling of being cared about and valued, with positive communication and mutual obligation.  If your chosen social “support” frequently leaves you feeling drained, irritable, or more stressed- it is no longer serving the function of support.

Social support is not the same as a support group.  A support group is a place where people with common problems (medical, psychological,or situational) meet to express feelings and encourage one another. They are often facilitated by a leader.  Support groups are a helpful addition for some people in managing stress but are not a replacement for social support.  Finding companionship and caring with some of the members within the support group may lead to social support benefits.

On a recent adventure (traveling with some of my social support network) I discovered the Oklahoma Bigfoot Symposium in Stilwell, Oklahoma. The vendors, authors, and researchers clearly shared an affinity for all things Bigfoot.  But beyond the bumper stickers, necklaces, foot castings, and beer cozies was something bigger.  I found camaraderie, kindness, laughter, and inquiries about family. Unfortunately we  arrived late in the day so we missed the promised “scientific research presentations” but what we found was a social support system.  Strong bonds are formed around the campfire deep in the woods.  They call it “Squatching,” I call it social support. 

“If you don’t have fun Squatching, don’t go.  Life is short and you need to enjoy it. Some of my favorite memories are of sitting around a campfire with good friends telling stories.” Robert Swain author of Bigfoot Boot Camp Handbook

Best of luck in finding your tribe!

Mindfulness Mondays: Positive Stress

First lesson in Fire 101/ September 2015

                                 "I'm stressed."

"That was stressful."

"You are stressing me out!"

Stress gets a bad rap- which is understandable because we usually only think about the "too much" of stress also known as distress.  This week I want to bring our attention to it's little sister, eustress. 

Eustress is positive stress, pressure we put on ourselves to go beyond our comfort zone.  When we set goals, learn new skills, or encourage ourselves to try something different we are using the motivational power of stress to go beyond what is familiar.  We are bringing about change.

This weekend I asked Sweetness for lessons in fire starting. Cooler weather is rumored to be coming to Oklahoma and there will be nights when Sal is out of town and I will want a cozy blaze in the Chimenea.  I put pressure on myself to be a learner, ask questions, make mistakes, and ultimately to do something new.  The side effect of positive stress is a feeling of accomplishment, a sense of pride. 

 Now that lights my fire!

I will create change for myself this week.

Creativity in the Kitchen: Time to make " the sauce"

"The Sauce"

My destiny to serve authentic sauce on top of pasta was sealed when I said yes to Sal Marotta’s proposal of marriage. Marottas do not do bottled or (gasp) canned marinara. My soon-to-be mother-in-law Emily offered a lesson in the sauce before the wedding.  I was an eager student. I had tasted the sauce. It was thick, rich, dark red, and memorable.

To this day the sauce is my only true claim to culinary skills. 

Making the sauce is not about the recipe. It is about the experience.  I learned that a layered rich sauce must begin at the start, with the starter.  The starter is the heart of the sauce.  It is the legacy of all the sauces that have come before . . . it is stored in the freezer.  Sal’s Great Aunt Julia had rows and rows of starter in her freezer.  She called it her “blood bank.” My Sal’s grandfather, Grandpa Sal, brought the idea of starter sauce to America from Sicily when he immigrated. Grandpa Sal had a full kitchen in his garage so he could cook the sauce with more space and ventilation without getting nagged about the mess.  He taught Emily (another non-Italian who needed the secrets), and Emily taught me.  It took us all day in the kitchen and much wine for the recipe as well as the lesson itself.

Great Aunt Julia

On the day of my lesson Sal’s mom confidently taught me how to cook the sausage, onions, garlic, and then to brown the paste- incorporating all the flavors.  All the while the heart of the sauce sat patiently slow warming on a separate stove top coil.  Side by side we layered the flavors by combining starter and paste, wine and herbs. By evening I learned the Marotta stories, was advised against putting oregano in the meatballs (it is mutinous and can cause loud Italian fighting), and more than anything that the sauce was a legacy. I was part of the family and trusted to carry the tradition forward.

It has been thirty years since my lesson. I now have my own tradition of warming the starter in early September. I spend the day browning the paste and incorporating the new sauce to make a batch that will last us throughout the fall and winter, leaving a little extra starter for next year.  So far I have taught my oldest daughter the process, who has added a playlist to her cooking, and expect someday my youngest will ask for her turn in the kitchen with me.

Because everyone knows you can’t feed an Italian family properly without the sauce.

The inspiration for this post came when I met a remarkable person named Sarah Shotts at the Arkansas Women’s Bloggers Conference last month.  As soon as she told me about her dream to record “heirloom recipes” across the world I knew I found a friend. If you or someone you know has a passion for family, food, and film please visit her Kickstarter “Project STIR.”

Mindfulness Mondays: Beginning with the End in Mind

Lake Tenkiller Sunset 2015

One of the highlights of "lake life" is sitting quietly on the deck watching the sunset. It cues me to reflect on the day's blessings.  At dusk I pause to quiet my mind- still my body.

This week begin with stillness.  Set your positive intention for a day filled with blessings.

Consider how grateful you would like to feel at sunset.

This week I will begin with the end in mind.

Prepare your day with "Good Belly"

Legend has it that a psychologist once traveled to India to seek counsel from the Dalai Lama. The psychologist stood in line for five hours in the heat to ask one question. When it was finally his turn he sat down across from the guru and asked “What is the secret to becoming a great healer?” After a quiet moment of reflection, the Dalai Lama opened his eyes and smiled. He looked directly at the psychologist and answered “You must have good belly.”

Good belly is the key to preparing for my day.  I love my work, and to do it well I must be physically, cognitively, and emotionally ready to listen.  Awareness, intuition, and active listening are core to the process of healing.  Over the past twenty years  I have developed a rhythm and ritual to prepare myself for healing work.

Awareness: I begin with coffee.  Seriously, it is impossible to be attuned to the emotional language of others when you are not alert.  My caffeine of choice is coffee.  I slowly wake up to coffee time spent with my husband.  No big decisions are made, no great “aha moments” about life—just quiet connection.

Intuition: The next step involves solitude.  I spend ten to twenty minutes meditating, reflecting, praying, and/or reading something inspirational. Calming myself in silence helps me to clear my mind and tune out distractions.  This step puts me in “respond” mode, rather than “react” mode. 

Active Listening: My schedule is the final preparation for my day.  Each appointment is an opportunity for that person to express their story, their unique journey toward healing.  I reflect on each client before I greet them in the waiting room- ready to be present and listen. 

Good belly is not only my preparation for clinical work.  I am genuinely grateful that the good belly skills of awareness, intuition, and active listening have prepared me to be a better wife, mother, friend, and family member.  Good belly brings healing to all relationships.

This post was written from an Oklahoma Women Blogger's prompt "prepare your day." Please show them some blogger love by visiting their site to see how other bloggers prepare for their day.