Resilient Leadership

Oklahoma State Superintendent Conference February 2015
Dr. Robert Romines

Resilience skills apply to every aspect of life: personal and professional.  Imagine if you were stepping into a new work position during a natural disaster- your responsibilities include the safety of children, teachers, and communicating calm to parents. This is the story of Dr. Robert Romines, Superintendent of the Moore, Oklahoma school district.  In February of this year I had the honor of meeting this “ordinary hero” who demonstrates resilient leadership.

On May 20, 2013 an F5 tornado impacted the community of Moore, Oklahoma and the 23,000 students in Dr. Robert Romines' care. 

He was a first responder to the school buildings destroyed by the storm and helped rescue teachers and students from the disaster sites.  Within moments of learning of the 7 student deaths in the Briarwood school, Dr. Romines was called upon to speak to the media. He communicated reassurance and realistic hope. 

The tornado ended the school year only days away from the planned summer dismissal.  Within the week Dr. Romines assembled a team to provide safe spaces for every student to return for their first day of the next school year.  From May 21 through August 16, 2013 Romines led with the mantra “Anything is possible.”

Understandably, two years later he is still tearful and managing emotions speaking about the events of the Tornado and the rebuilding/recovery effort that followed. Dr. Romines' leadership continues in his Monday email sent out to every family in his district with a “weather update” for the week.

Ordinary people can do extraordinary things utilizing resilience skills: Support, flexibility, decisiveness, and perspective. 

Are you leading your personal life with resilience? 

Are you practicing resilience in your parenting?  

COMFORT: DEFINING SHELTER

Statue of Liberty Wall Cling- Target purchase

SHeltər/

noun

1.

a place giving temporary protection from bad weather or danger

Last year’s Oklahoma weather escalated the storm shelter business.  We Marottas waited five months to get ours installed.  While it isn't as slick as a room remodel or as fun as a backyard Jacuzzi, neither of these provides protection in tornado country.  

When our kids wore Keds the bathroom was our safe place.  The girls plus dog could fit together in the bathtub with helmets, pillows, and at least one book.  My post was next to the tub with candles and a battery operated radio, while Sweetness held vigil at the television until the very last possible moment to add to the drama.  Good times.

The Keds are now replaced with size 8 Nike's, so we upgraded our safety to an in-ground-in-garage storm shelter.  It's not much bigger than a Jacuzzi, but it has a purpose- knowing we have shelter brings me peace.

verb

1.

protect or shield from something harmful, especially bad weather

An internet search yielded resources to the essential items to include in a survival kit.  We also need to shelter the anxiety when we are in our safe place so I have intentionally personalized our kit to bring comfort.  Our “safe snacks” are foods we take on hikes, with biscuits to coax our resident therapy dog down the steep stairs. Cards and Mad-Libs will pass the time and bring some comic relief.  The crotchet blankets are a Grammie legacy- she sheltered me in my formative years.

The idea of us all sitting in a snug grey box under my Ford called for just a little something extra. .  . A focal point.  Our shelter needed something to welcome us to safety. For our family the Statue of Liberty is our visual anchor. 

“Give me your tired, your poor, 

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, 

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. 

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me: 

I lift my lamp beside the golden door.” 

― Emma Lazarus

New York is where our family began.  Sweetness and I met and married there.  It is where the Artist. was born. New York is home to family and friends that feel like family.  After the storm we know we will hear from them.  Lady Liberty gives us hope that we will weather the storm.

I wish you and your family shelter and continued comfort this tornado season.

COMFORT: Revisiting Resilience from May 20, 2013

h/t Oklahoma Contemporary Arts Center

This post was from last year (5/28/13), reflecting  on the May 20th tornado that impacted Oklahoma and the Nation as well. I am comforted by the recent tributes to the ordinary heroes and the recovery and resilience of our communities.  The Oklahoma Contemporary Arts Center is exhibiting a collection of photographs entitled "Not just another day in May" through the end of this month at Leadership Square in OKC.  
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On May 20, 2013  I was at work in a parent conference with a new family. We didn't hear the sirens but the dark green sky and hail spurred us into action. We waited and made small talk as we listened to the radio in our safe place (the women’s room).  In Oklahoma we get very specific information about tornadoes, and we were informed that one had touched down about 20 miles away.

Later that evening in our own homes we watched the Godzilla like tornado that devastated Moore and surrounding towns.   In gratitude for our own safety, we all held our breath waiting for news of survivors, and lives lost. 

It will take years to rebuild the structure of towns like Moore, and Shawnee Oklahoma.  

But the community building began immediately.  That is resilience in action.

By May 21^st there were local disaster relief sites organized by scouts, schools, churches, and realtors each finding a spot on the sidewalk to collect water and Gatorade.  People were walking around Wal-Mart and Loews with supply lists.  In the most affected areas neighbors were helping neighbors clean debris and look for pets, photos, and Bibles.   Social media connected us to distant communities who have been through disasters, reaching out because they understand, they have been there too.

When tornadoes, hurricanes, or terrorists strike, we have a choice.  We can get cynical and depressed, or we can bounce back. The best plan for recovery is to look for the helpers, the heroes, the miracles.  Seek opportunities to be helpful, and build resilience. 

*Find your safe place. Help your neighbor. Support your community*

COMFORT: Preparing for Tornadoes

Oklahoma children are afraid of tornadoes.  They should be.  In 2013 Oklahoma had 82 tornadoes across the state.  If you have never experienced a tornado it is difficult to imagine the quiet calm before the storm-the green sky-the sudden wind. The helpless feeling that comes with the realization that once you seek shelter there is nothing you can do but wait. 

An EF5 tornado can have winds up to 300 mph and cause damage spanning more than 2 miles. Healthy fear helps us to pay attention and get to safety.  Too much fear will make every rain cloud a disaster and disrupt living.   As we begin tornado season here in the Midwest parents need to help children manage their fear through knowledge, safety, comfort, and reassurance. 

Oklahoma parents owe a big thank you to Darleen Bailey Beard for finding the words to describe the before, during, and after of a tornado in her book Twister, beautifully illustrated by Nancy Carpenter.  I use Twister in my practice to help anxious children prepare for Oklahoma weather.  Last year I asked a child to summarize what she was learning from counseling “It is up to the grown-ups to help you know when to get to safety; it is up to kids to follow directions and just be kids until it is over.” Well said.

h/t mari farthing 

Author Darleen Bailey Beard was an encouraging speaker at the recent Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc.  Conference.  Darleen shared with us that she received a thank you letter from a teacher last year.  The teacher was from Briarwood Elementary in Moore, Oklahoma.   The teacher wrote that on May 20, 2013 she was huddled in her classroom with her students during the deadly EF5 tornado that destroyed much of the town. As the teacher considered how best to reassure the children during the storm she remembered her copy of Twister.  She read to her class and they made shadow puppets on the wall just like the children in the book.  The Weather Channel will be doing a feature (May 19^th tentative air time 8pm) which will include this teacher’s story.  Watch for the listing I am sure it will be educational and inspiring.  A word to the wise: I suggest that parents preview the show rather than watching with children. 

If you live in the Midwest- learn the location of available shelters and educate yourself so you are know how and when to direct your family to safety.  And remember to bring your copy of Twister- it will help with the wait.

COMFORT: Re-posting from 2013 Tornado

h/t Oklahoma Contemporary Arts

This post was from last year (5/28/13), reflecting  on the May 20th tornado that impacted Oklahoma and the Nation as well. I am comforted by the recent tributes to the ordinary heroes and the recovery and resilience of our communities.  The Contemporary Arts Center in Oklahoma is hosting "Not just another day in May" through the end of this month at Leadership Square in OKC.   
---------------------------------------------------
On May 20, 2013  I was at work in a parent conference with a new family. We didn't hear the sirens but the dark green sky and hail spurred us into action. We waited and made small talk as we listened to the radio in our safe place (the women’s room).  In Oklahoma we get very specific information about tornadoes, and we were informed that one had touched down about 20 miles away.

Later that evening in our own homes we watched the Godzilla like tornado that devastated Moore and surrounding towns.   In gratitude for our own safety, we all held our breath waiting for news of survivors, and lives lost. 

It will take years to rebuild the structure of towns like Moore, and Shawnee Oklahoma.  

But the community building began immediately.  That is resilience in action.

By May 21^st there were local disaster relief sites organized by scouts, schools, churches, and realtors each finding a spot on the sidewalk to collect water and Gatorade.  People were walking around Wal-Mart and Loews with supply lists.  In the most affected areas neighbors were helping neighbors clean debris and look for pets, photos, and Bibles.   Social media connected us to distant communities who have been through disasters, reaching out because they understand, they have been there too.

When tornadoes, hurricanes, or terrorists strike, we have a choice.  We can get cynical and depressed, or we can bounce back. The best plan for recovery is to look for the helpers, the heroes, the miracles.  Seek opportunities to be helpful, and build resilience. 

Find your safe place. Help your neighbor. Support your community.

Tornado Recovery Links

As Oklahomans we are all coping with the recent tornado that impacted many of our neighbors.
The recovery effort will take a long time and everyone is encouraged to find a way to help. 

Here are some links to help you to help others:

If you are wanting information about how to help your child with fears from the tornado or know someone who would benefit from this information please direct them to MetroFamily Magazine website. I have written an article with practical advice on the topic.

If you are looking for a way to respond to the recovery effort please check out Oklahoma Women Bloggers they have listed many different (and legitimate) ways to help.

During this time of recovery be encouraged to: Get information, seek support, help where you can,
and stay safe.